An Alton Towers spokeswoman was heard stating that tight-fitting swimwear on men was to be banned at their water-parks this summer. Speaking in that monotone, passive voice that is the sign of someone hiding behind the barricades whilst uttering nonsense she went on to "justify" the ruling by saying they had received feedback from families saying that children (always the best word to use to stifle reasoning) and families were upset by them! Strange though that females are acceptable in the skimpiest of bikinis. Is there a reason for this?

What have we come to when silly fashions and increasing prudishness should dictate what we wear? The fact that in Europe, men have to wear them in public pools for hygiene reasons and that they are easier to swim in and may encourage males to get a bit more exercise and get in shape is surely reason enough to mock this silly ruling.

I have four things to add to these weird people:
One, you don't have to look at the outline of male genitalia
Two, children don't care until their parents make them feel shame and discomfort.
Three, get over your pervy minds.
Four, why don't you complainers mind your own business.

If you recognise any of the above, LOOK AWAY NOW

As a proud wearer of swimwear, rather than dork shorts I defy you strange people!

Tags: Alton towers, Speedos, bikini, sex, genitals